Belonging & Remaining
We can spend so much of our lives looking for the extraordinary that we miss the sacredness of the ordinary.
We wait for the next season. The breakthrough. The opportunity. The relationship to change. The circumstances to improve. We imagine that when something finally shifts, then our real life will begin.
But God is not only the God of where we're going. He is the God of right here and right now.
Belonging & Remaining
Bob and Audrey Meisner
Acts 17:28 | John 7 | Luke 24
“In Him we live and move and have our being.” — Acts 17:28
We can spend so much of our lives looking for the extraordinary that we miss the sacredness of the ordinary.
We wait for the next season. The breakthrough. The opportunity. The relationship to change. The circumstances to improve. We imagine that when something finally shifts, then our real life will begin.
But God is not only the God of where we're going. He is the God of right here and right now.
He was faithful yesterday, and He will be faithful tomorrow, but He is also faithful today.
Fall in Love With the Ordinary
Ordinary isn't boring. Ordinary is simply what we have the most of.
Our ordinary days are where most of our lives actually happen. They are filled with meals, conversations, work, children, spouses, friendships, responsibilities, laughter, interruptions, and quiet moments that may never look significant from the outside.
And yet God is there.
“This is the day the Lord has made.” This day, not some future, improved version of our lives, deserves to be received.
Stop waiting for your real life to begin.
Our families are looking for us, and they deserve our presence. Instead of constantly ruminating on what was or imagining what could be, we can learn to receive the people and moments directly in front of us.
Security Gives Us Permission to Remain
n John 7, Jesus' brothers pressured Him to leave Galilee and go to Judea. If He wanted people to know who He was, surely He should go somewhere bigger and more visible.
But Jesus stayed.
Galilee represented much of Jesus' ordinary life. Remaining there wasn't insignificant. Jesus simply wasn't governed by someone else's agenda.
He knew who He was. He knew where His direction came from.
That is security.
When we know we belong to God, we don't have to be pressured into proving ourselves. We don't have to constantly perform, accomplish, impress, or be amazing.
We can remain.
And remaining brings us into rest.
How Do We Stay in Love With the Life We Have?
This security doesn't only change our relationship with achievement. It changes our relationships with people.
How do we stay in love with our spouse, our children, our friendships, and the life God has given us when those relationships aren't perfect?
Obligation isn't the same thing as love.
There are some habits we can lay down that help us become present enough to actually enjoy and love the people in front of us.
1. Take Off the Judgment Glasses
Every relationship eventually brings disappointment.
Someone doesn't respond the way we hoped. Our spouse seems insensitive. Our children don't appreciate something we've done. A friend doesn't notice what we're carrying.
And suddenly we're looking at them through judgment glasses:
You don't notice me.
You don't appreciate me.
You should know better.
Instead, we can take responsibility for what is happening inside us and ask, “Why am I feeling this right now?”
Our culture spends enormous energy asking, “How do I get noticed?”
Security allows us to ask a different question:
“Who am I noticing?”
When everything isn't about proving our worth or getting our needs validated, we become free to see someone else.
I see you. I value you. I can see what is beautiful in you.
Look again at your spouse. Look again at your children. Look again at your friendships and your ordinary life.
Notice what is amazing about what God has already given you.
2. Stop Making Up Scary Stories
We are remarkably good at filling in information we don't have.
What if they meant this?
What if this happens?
What if things never change?
Before long, we're emotionally reacting to a story that hasn't even happened.
Stop “what-if-ing” everything.
Remain with what is actually true. Instead of filling the unknown with fear and assumptions, choose to believe the best and stay present with what you actually know.
Don't let an imaginary future steal a real present.
3. Stop Measuring
It's difficult to stay in love with someone you're constantly grading.
We can turn relationships into invisible report cards, continually evaluating whether the other person is doing enough, changing enough, noticing enough, or meeting our expectations.
There is a place for discernment. There are moments when something genuinely needs to be addressed.
But we aren't supposed to live in evaluation mode.
If you spend the entire drive staring at the dashboard, you'll miss the scenery.
Sometimes you need to taste dinner instead of documenting it.
Be there.
Enjoy the person. Receive the moment. Let an ordinary experience simply be good without needing to analyze what it means or whether it measures up.
Stay Long Enough to Recognize Him
Luke 24 gives us a beautiful picture of remaining.
On the road to Emmaus, two disciples walked with Jesus while processing their disappointment.
“We had hoped He was the one.”
Their expectations had been shattered, and Jesus allowed them to wrestle with their questions. He didn't rush the moment.
Eventually, they asked Him to stay.
And because they remained with Him, their eyes were opened.
They discovered that Jesus had been there all along.
Sometimes our disappointment makes us want to leave: leave the moment, leave the relationship, leave the ordinary, or go searching for something that feels more significant.
But what if we stayed long enough to recognize that Jesus is already here?
Again and again, Jesus revealed Himself in incredibly ordinary settings: walking down roads, sitting around tables, sharing meals, eating Galilean fish.
The ordinary was never absent of God.
He Is Here
The last several weeks have given us a beautiful progression for our relationships.
We can have vision and hope for where our relationships are going. We can pursue reconciliation so our past doesn't continually interrupt our present. And now, secure in our belonging in Christ, we can learn to remain and actually enjoy what God has given us today.
We don't have to live selfishly believing we have something to prove.
We don't have to wait for everything to become extraordinary.
Take off the judgment glasses.
Stop writing scary stories.
Stop measuring everything.
Receive this day.
Notice the people in front of you.
Stay long enough to recognize His presence.
Fall in love with the ordinary life God has already given you. He is here.
